All I ask for in a relationship is to be reminded that I am worth it.







I know that it is something that I need to remind myself.

I'm working on loving myself. I promise.

The "I've come to realize" survey.

1. I've come to realize that, my last ex:
was a terrible person who I put up with because I was weak.

2. I've come to realize that, when I talk:
I fuck up like half of the sentence, always.

3. I've come to realize that I love:
gardening, fucking eh.

4. I've come to realize that my best friend:
isn't confined to one person.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost:
a lot of myself over the past few years.

6. I've come to realize that I hate:
spending money frivolously.

7. I've come to realize that marriage:
isn't something I could do any time soon.

9. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
a little weird and oddly approachable.

11. I've come to realize that the last time I truly cried was:
over something I was right in being upset about.

12. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
is something that I have put waaaay too much dependence on.

13. I've come to realize that I'm currently:
at peace with myself and can finally relax and be imperfect with the guy I'm with.

14. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:
tend to lose track of time reading, so I'm always tired in the morning.

15. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
how I'm probably reading entirely too much into things (I usually do)

16. I've come to realize that I go on MySpace:
never.

17. I've come to realize that today:
was bad for my morale but good for the ducks.

18. I've come to realize that tonight:
I'll be overstuffed with leftover spaghetti because I totally want some now.

19. I've come to realize that school is:
not something that I can rush into.

20. I've come to realize that tomorrow:
is Friday and I can wear jeans to work with my new heels haha.

SINCE 2OO9 STARTED:

------- Have You -------

•• Had a boyfriend: Yes, since the beginning of the year.
•• Had your birthday: No.
•• Been to church: No.
•• Cried: Yes, when I was scared shitless because I thought someone was in my house.
•• Had someone close to you pass away: No.
•• Pulled an all nighter: No.
•• Drank Tim Hortons Soup: No.
•• Gone on a shopping spree: Umm... yes. >_>
•• Gone to the movies: Yes!
•• Been to the beach: Kind of, but not to swim.
•• Met someone new: Yes.
•• Been out of your home town: Yep.
•• Done something crazy: Haha ehhhhh...
•• Thought about moving: Yes, and I did.

------- In The Past Month -------

•• Kissed someone: Yes
•• Slept in someone else's bed: Yes.
•• Snuck someone over: No.
•• Snuck out of your own house: I'm too old to sneak out haha.
•• Been to a bar: Yep.
•• Been bullied: Nah.
•• Drove somewhere: YES! AMAZINGLY! I drove a couple weeks ago!
•• Done something you regret: No.

------- Last -------

•• Thing you bought: An awesome wrap dress and some shoes.
•• Person you hugged: Tara.
•• Person to call you: I dunno a client at work.
•• Person who messaged you: Alec.
•• Time you took a bubble bath: On Friday!
•• Time you felt stupid: Buh, yesterday.
•• Time you walked a mile: Oh I walked down to the McRae's on Sunday.
•• Person who saw you cry: Jeff. When he came to my house at midnight to make sure there actually wasn't anyone in there haha.
•• Person who made you cry: No one, it was just crap outside.
•• Person you watched a movie with: Fuck I don't remember.
•• Person you danced with: Alec.
•• Person you yelled at: Nah.
•• Person to make you smile: Alec.
•• Friend you miss: Alec.
•• Song you listened to: Something by Rancid.
•• Thing you did last night: Ugh, watched TV and went to bed. My exciting life!

Have you ever let somebody be your everything?
Yes. I refuse to ever again, because when you lose that person, it sucks.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Yes.

Whose car were you in last?
My mom's.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.

Last thing you drank?
Water.

What is your favorite scent?
Honey. <3

Do you read your horoscope?
If I flip to it in the newspaper, yes.

What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
Anything but skinny wimpy boys.

What was the last compliment you recieved?
Apparently my boobs are perfect, apparently.

Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
I hugged my mom before she left, and I slept next to Alec last night.

Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them?
Friends, yes. Boyfriends, no.

Would you be shocked if your last ex said they hated you?
No.

What’s something you’re excited about right now?
Moving back to Dover. Phew.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
Yes, hahaha.

Do you have a cat that stares and meows at you often
No.

Is there someone you know you should hate but can't?
Nah.

Are you afraid others will judge you because of some of your answers?
Whatever.

How do you usually get money?
... I have money?

Whats the relationship between you and the last person you texted?
She's one of my closest friends, and I'm glad to be moving near her again.

Who is someone you tell everything to?
Nobody.

Is there a friend you can't stand?
Haha yeah. There are people I can only be with a little at a time.

Do you own a pair of jeans worth over $200?
Nope.

Do you think it is disgusting for girls to drink alcohol and get drunk?
YES. It's a VILE thing and ANYONE WHO DOES THIS should be HUNG BY THE THUMBS. *downs martini*

Do you miss anyone?
Yesssss.

Do you regret anything?
Ughhh.... kind of.

Do you hate anyone?
Very few people.

Is there something you can't wait for?
For this whole mess with US Steel/Parents vacation/Me moving/Creepshow concert to be sorted out.

What are you looking forward to this week?
Ugh, nothing because I'm going back to work. Fucking Sun Valley.

Have you ever received a love letter more than a page long?
Nope.

Where do you live?
Currently, Toronto.

Are you an aunt or uncle?
Nope.

Given the opportunity, would you like to travel to space?
Uhhhh, nah. I don't think my body could handle it.

Do you think there is life on other planets?
Yep.

If you had the chance to move anywhere, where would you choose?
Ireland!

Who does the yard work?
Not me.

Were you a cute baby?
Not at first.

Have you ever had a friend who had an eating disorder?
Yes.

Name something you are doing tonight?
watching Sex and the City.

To who did you last give the finger to?
Probably Ashley when she took a picture of Alec and I dancing, haha. I don't give it often.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
Uhh, like 7.

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
a Baskin Robbins candy.

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
Nope.

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I started moving my stuff home.

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
Ugh, cramps.

Does anyone love you?
Yes.

How many pictures do you have saved on your computer?
SOOO MANY.

How many people do you not get along with?
Quite a few.

Do you wake up cranky?
If I get up early.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Went back to Alec's from the show after-party, made out for a while, fell asleep.

Do you currently have a hickey on your neck?
Nope.

If someone were to ask you to be their girlfriend/boyfriend right now what would you say?
No.

Do you want someone to call/text you right now?
I'm all for being alone for a bit.

Is there someone from a different school that you would like to see right now?
Yeah.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name starts with J, M, or D?
Ugh, yes.

What would you do if you found out your ex found a new love?
I'd be amazed.

Did the last person you kissed mean something to you?
Yes.

Do you think anyone's thinking about you right now?
I hope so. :)

Do you believe in second chances?
Sure, I just haven't given any ex-boyfriends one yet.

Have you ever liked someone you knew you shouldn't?
Nah.

What are some things that you have to have everywhere you go?
Phone, lip chap, iPod.

What color is the nail polish on your nails?
Clear.

When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
I HAD PREMARITAL SEX. *GASP*

Do you hate being alone?
Not at all.

Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with?
The one before this relationship, yes.

If the last person you kissed bumped into you at school, what would you say?
"Hey, what am I doing in a school?"

Does your best friend like the last person you kissed?
Yeah, she and him are buddies.

What song are you listening to?
SOMEDAY LASER BEAMS WILL CURE MY SIGHT. fuck I love this album.

Who were you last in a car with?
My mom.

What time did you get up this morning and why?
Like 9ish, and because I had to go home to pack my clothes.

What is the weather like?
Sunny, but cool. I love spring. <3

Are you single?
No.

Have you cried today at all?
No.

Do you want to be in a relationship?
I love being in this relationship.

Do you actually believe in perfection?
To describe food, or a situation I find to be hilarious.

Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Sunny.

Have you ever been to New York City?
No, but I wish I could gooooooo.

What do you think about before you go to bed?
A lot?

Take any medication?
BC patch, and Apo-Cefprozil to make my throat not infected anymore!

Where is your phone?
Um, on the ground somewhere.

How many close friends do you have?
A small handful.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Yes. My oldest good friend in the world, and my newest, haha.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I don't really believe in that whole "grand plan" stuff.

Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Nope! Got 'em yanked in September!

When is your next road trip?
Aw, I dunno!! Going to Montreal this summer, hopefully (in a bus like a boring person)

Would rain actually stop you from going somewhere or ruin your plans?
Nope! I love walking in the rain.

Do you get nervous with public speaking?
Haha yeah.

Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
Depressingly yes.

Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Love doesn't feel like that.

Have you ever made a girl cry?
I hope so. Bitches.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
In this relationship.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
Towards the end of my last relationship.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

Have you ever broken someone else's heart?
Yep.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
No.

Do you think you're a good bf/gf?
I hope so, other than I never seem to have money. :(

Like anyone right now?
I DOOOOOOOO.

Does that person like you back?
HE DOESSSSSSSSSSS.

h o n e s t l y

honestly, whαt color is your underweαr? . Blue period panties, haha.
honestly, whαt αre you doing right now? . Watching Spaceballs, laying in bed, doing this.
honestly, do you wαtch disney chαnnel? . I only get CTV. And even if I did get the Disney channel I would not watch it.
honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? . No.
honestly, whαt mαkes you mαd most of the time? . Ugh, customers.
honestly, do you bite your nαils? . No.
honestly, do you wαnt to see someone this very moment? . Yes, I want him to be here cuddling me in odd but comfortable positions, haha.
honestly, αre you keeping α big secret right now? . No.
honestly, do you hαve α friend you don't αctuαlly like? . No I'm pretty open about who I like and who I dislike.
honestly, do you like αnyone? . Yes.
honestly, does αnyone like you? . Yes.

t h e c α n s

cαn you blow α bubble? . Yes
cαn you dαnce? . Not well haha.
cαn you do α cαrtwheel? . I haven't done one of those in so long.
cαn you tie α cherry stem with your mouth? . No.
cαn you touch your toes? . If I'm sitting down with my legs stretched out.
cαn you whistle? . Not well.
cαn you wiggle your eαrs? . No.
cαn you role your tongue? . Yes.
cαn you mαke α clover with your tongue? . No.

α n g e r s e c t i o n

whαt do you do when your mαd? . I get worked up and generally irritable. If I'm at work I'll throw shit around.
ever mαde αnyone cry when you were mαd? . Not as far as I know.
do you sweαr when your mαd? . Yes. A lot.

c r y i n g s e c t i o n

ever reαlly cried your heαrt out? . Yes. Ugh.
ever cried yourself to sleep? . Yes.
ever cried on your friends shoulder? . Yes.
do you cry when you get an injury? . When I was younger, yes. I haven't had a really bad injury lately. Although when I pulled my hamstring and I was home alone and couldn't walk, I cried because I felt helpless.
do certαin songs mαke you cry? . No.
do certαin movies mαke you cry? . Yes.

h α p p y s e c t i o n

αre you usuαlly α hαppy person? . Meh.
does being with your fαmily mαke you hαppy? . Agghhhhh, it depends.
do you wish you were hαppier? . No, I'm pretty good with my neutrality.
is being hαppy over-rαted? . No.
does music mαke you hαppy? . Yes.

l o v e s e c t i o n

hαs αnyone besides your friends & fαmily ever sαid i love you to you? . Yes.
have you ever said I love you to someone and meant it? . Yes.
have you ever been in love? . Yes.

h α t e s e c t i o n

ever mαde α hαte list? . When I was a kid.
hαve you ever been on α hαte list? . Hahahaha probably.

s e l f e s t e e m s e c t i o n

is your self-esteem low? . No.
do you wish you could be someone else? . Never.

l o o k α t m e

whαt is your current hαir color? . Reddddd.
piercings? . Ears and septum.
strαight hαir or curly? . Wavy.
how tαll? . 5'6 1/2"

c u r r e n t l y w e α r i n g ♪

whαt shirt αre you weαring? . White tank with pink dots.
αre you weαring α necklαce? . No.

h α v e y o u e v e r ♪

hugged someone? . Yep.
been on the phone until the sun cαme up? . No I'm not a phone person.
lαughed so hαrd you pissed yourself? . Haha, no.
lαughed so hαrd you cried? . Yeah.

t h e l α s t ♪

person you tαlked on the phone to? . Caaaaas, I drunk dialed her.
person you tαlked to online? . Ummm... Alec, I think, the other night.
person you tαlked to in person? . Kevin and Karli.
person you texted ? . Alec or Cas, can't remember.

r α n d o m ♪

do you like these notes? . They're alright.
do you get αlong with your pαrents? . Usually.

c u r r e n t ♪

current mood: . Bleeeegghhhhhhh VODKA!! *shakes fist*
current music: . None.
current hαir style: . Greasy haha
current windows open: . MSN and Livejournal.
current desktop picture: . A kind of repeating black paisley pattern. Its neat I like it.

t h e d i d s ♪

did you ever wαnt to be α doctor? . Nope.
Firefighter? . Nope.
Police Officer? . Nope.
Lawyer? . YES haha.

t h e d o s ♪

do you know how to swim? . Yeah, but I haven't in a long time.
do you like rollercoαsters? . I haven't gone on many.
do you own α bike? . No. :( I rode my mom's all last summer.

t h e d o e s ♪

does your hair run in your fαmily? . Yeah, I got my colour from my grandmother.
does your fαmily hαve picnics? . Nope.

t h e h α v e s ♪

hαve you ever been to the oceαn? . Yeah.
hαve you ever pαinted your nαils? . Yeah.

t h e h o w s ♪

how did you find out αbout fαcebook? . I forget, haha
how mαny people αre on your friends list? . 309
how mαny of them hαve you met in person? . All but a small handful of online friends.
how old αre you? . 20
how much money do you hαve on you right now? . None, haha, Kevin, Karli and I all pooled our change so I could take the bus last night.

t h e l α s t s ♪

last time you slept in αll morning? . Not for a while, haha.
lαst thing you sαid outloud? . "Call me when you guys want me to come over. See you laterrrrr."

t h e w h α t s ♪

whαt αre you doing tonight? . Drinking with Kevin and Karli again haha. My usual weekend activities.
whαt is the weαther outside? . Cooold, but pleasantly sunny.
whαt wαs the lαst resturαunt you αte αt cαlled? . Uhhh, I ate at the Imperial Pub last weekend?
whαt wαs the lαst thing you hαd to drink? . Water.
whαt wαs the lαst movie you wαtched? . Spaceballs! Right now.

t h e w h o s ♪

who's the 7th msg in ur inbox from? . Alec.
who's your crush? . ^^
who's the lαst person you wαnt to see right now? . a bottle of vodka.
who's the first person you wαnt to see right now? . A bottle of pepto bismol.
who do you miss the most? . My doggie Rosie.

I'm kind of in love with Seth Rogen. Alec is not jealous because they are similar in many ways. I called him MY Seth Rogen. It feels weird typing that when I KNOW RACHEL WILL SEE IT OHHHHH (I'm sorry that I like your brother).

Beeford is (was) complaining to me about his ex girlfriend and how she knows how to push his buttons and nothing he says can hurt her. I told him that Andrew was the same way, and if she's doing it that she is being a giant bitch, because seriously, fuck people that do that. He hasn't responded (thus why I say 'was') so I think he's pissed off, haha.

But come on, you broke up for a reason. I'm not treating him like a fragile person anymore, because I no longer care. I'm not chasing after his friendship anymore. Also your ex is fug and is also a giant hipster. OH LOOK AT YOU YOU'RE SO TORONTO bitch.

I've been downloading like crazy. I don't care! I don't even think we have wireless here. WHERE AM I PICKING IT UP FROM? Whatever, I'm going over whoever's bandwidth. I don't care, this internet is unstable and it pisses me off. Undeclared has been downloading for 13 hours and it's only 3.7% done! ONLY 860 HOURS TO GO.

I need weed.

If you married the person you last texted, what would your last name be?
Wagner

What would happen if you had a kid with the last person you kissed?
Haha it would be a pretty metal kid.

What did you do today?
Woke up, unpacked all of my stuff, cleaned, ate some toast with nutella, sat on the computer.

Do you know a secret about your last ex that would embarrass them?
Well... maybe.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
By myself.

What are some lyrics from a song that you are currently listening to?
This holy reality, in this holy experience.
Choosing to be here in...
This body. this body holding me. be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal all this pain is an illusion...

Do you do your own laundry?
Always, everywhere.

Are you getting engaged any time soon?
No waaaaaay, I don't think ever.

Do you watch "The Hills"?
RELIGIOUSLY. And I will watch The City as soon as it comes on mtv.ca tonight.

Wearing any bracelets?
Nope.

Last thing someone bought for you?
My mom bought my bus ticket back to Toronto.

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you?
Not really. I usually talk to random people that say hi to me, haha.

Are you any different now than you were a year ago?
Yes, I'm in a more stable place mentally and I have a clearer idea of what I want to do with my life.

Are you taller than your mom?
Yep.

Is anything upsetting you right now?
Not really.

What's the farthest away from home you have ever been?
Greece!

Do you hate being alone?
Not really. I like my alone time, but I also like that I have friends near enough to come over any time.

What's on your agenda for tomorrow?
Probably going back to work.

Who do you get along with?
Weirdos, for the most part. Nerds, punks, the like. We understand each other!

If you could have one person with you right now, who would it be?
Haha I dunno.

Does anyone know your passwords other than you?
Nah.

Did you have a good day yesterday?
It was pretty good. I had a good talk and then I got to see my family, and then I got to come back to Toronto.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Depends on who I am with.

Do you wash your hair in the shower?
Yep.

Have you ever been kissed in a car?
I've been fucked in a car, haha, grrrr.

How are you feeling right now?
I kinda have to pee.

Last nap?
I fell asleep Saturday on Alec's couch, haha.

Have you ever liked anyone that treated you like crap?
Ugh, yes. Love is blind.

Where would you like to be right now?
I kind of want to be in Dover still. *shrug*

What were you doing at 10:17 pm last night?
Just getting in, haha.

Are you afraid to grow up?
Nah, I find it amazing, actually.

What was/is your worst subject?
Gym.

Want something you can't have?
*sigh* Kind of, but kind of not. My heart says "Yes!" but my brain says "No!"

What do you do when you're sad?
Usually just freak out and bitch at people. I need to learn to turn off my phone when this happens because last time it did I got all sorts of worried phone calls haha.

Do you have a secret crush that you've never told ANYONE?
Haha yeah.

Last time you fell asleep in someones arms?
Saturday.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Hanging out with Cody on Friday, because he's finally getting back to Toronto from Ottawa!

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yep.

How many children do you plan on having?
0.

Have you ever talked about marriage or kids with an ex?
Yes.

Own more than 10 pairs of flip-flops?
No, I can't stand the things.

What is something you wish you had more of?
Haha Dana puts it best, Love and Shoes. and concert tickets.

What woke you up this morning?
Ugh, Perry texting me at 6:43 (whyyyyyyy), then my room mate being loud as fuck when she left the house.

What were you like a year ago?
A lot busier, and a little unhappy.

How many times is A in your full name?
6!

What time was it two hours ago?
11:14

What were you doing then?
Cleaning.

Whats the weather like outside?
Sunny and 2 degrees.

Who are you currently texting?
Nobody

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?
Perry, Bradford, Cody, Jeff.

Are your fingernails painted?
Haha, same as Dana, extremely chipped black.

Are you taller than 5'6"?
JUST. By like half an inch.

What was the last thing you ate?
Toast with nutella.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders?
It's getting there!! I need a cut again.

Do you have highlights?
No.

Where was the last place you went?
Haha nowhere today.

What will the date be one month from today?
Jan 29th.

How old was your mom when she had you?
30

What does your name mean?
Darby means Free Person :) Apparently Blake means dark/bright (depending on the origin), which makes sense.

Do you know anyone else with your name?
Not personally.

If you had a child; Would you rather have a girl or a boy?
A girl. I would name her Harley Quinn.

What are you doing tonight?
Sleeping, haha.

Are you tired right now?
Nah.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
Most of Andrew's friends, undoubtedly, because most likely he told them that I cheated on him.

Do you clean when you’re upset?
Sometimes!

Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the worst?
Yes, I've gotten past it and we're good friends.

Are you loyal?
Yes.

Did you sleep well last night?
Yes, fairly well!

Do you have a common first name?
Nope.

Who's room of the opposite sex were you in last?
Alec's.

Who's vehicle were you last in?
My parents car. Or the TTC's train, depending on how you look at it, haha.

Is there someone in your life you wish you never met?
Nope.

Where was the last place you went shopping?
Food Basics, haha, last week when I bought some groceries.

How do you feel about your hair right now?
It needs a trim.

Have you ever kissed in a pool?
Yes.

When you make a promise, do you normally stick with that promise?
I try to.

Do you have homework?
Nope.

Who was the last person to wear your clothes?
Myself!

Tell me about the shirt you're wearing:
It's a tank top with happy bees on it. :)

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
Yes.

Last time you went in a tanning bed?
Never!

What's the last CD you listened to?
Tool - Lateralus.

I pulled my hamstring. I don't exactly know how, but I'm 99% sure it's from work. It has been giving me a bit of pain lately but it wasn't that bad, so I just took some advil and put ice on it at night. This afternoon, fully planning on enjoying my day off, I went to put on my boots so I could check out the thrift store around the corner, and I must have moved my leg the wrong way because suddenly I couldn't walk. I hobbled back into my bedroom, checked for the nearest walk-in clinic, and headed out.

Seriously, fuck Torontonians. I had to stand on the bus, and on the subway, while I'm wheezing and near the verge of tears because they're all assholes. Fuck them.

Got to the clinic, have to hobble up three flights of stairs, was told to go back down two flights to register, stood there for ten minutes while the useless people ahead of me took their GD time, said "fuck it I'm taking the elevator back up", got glared at by old people in the elevator, waited for an hour in the waiting room, was told that the doctor DOWNSTAIRS would see me, hobbled down FOUR flights of stairs, got told that it's a pulled hamstring and was given a prescription for what is basically extra-strength advil (which is what I was already taking). I did pay $15 for a doctor's note that looked fake.

I took the subway back to my area, hobbled into work, gave the note to Steve, who got angry and glared and mumbled, and said "it's not like you're working alone anyway", which, I am, thanks to your wonderful scheduling skills. The day before fucking Christmas Eve, when everything needs to be OVERFLOWING, and I can't lift anything more than a box of salad. GREAT FUCKING SCHEDULING, STEVE.

Anyway, I just hobbled to the bathroom and back and was almost crying as I forced myself back into bed, because this advil isn't doing shit.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK YOU.

tldr; I'm in pain and my job sucks, also, fuck Toronto.

UPDATE: So because of my leg, I'm a liability at work, so they sent me home and told me to come back when I'm 100%. It's extremely convenient for me, seeing as its Christmas and I get to go home and stuff, but I can't help but worry about how fucking tiny my paycheck is going to be. :(

A little consistency! That's all I ask for!

An lo, Jesus called out Mary Magdalene's stank ass. And he sayeth 'she's sucked 37 dicks!'. And there was much consternation. And ye verily the question was asked 'in a row?'. And it was good.

1. who was your last 4 texts from?
Bradford!

2. where was your default picture taken (on facebook)?
Jean Machine in the Eaton Center

3. what’s your middle name?
Jean!

4. your current relationship status?
Single!

5. does your crush like you back?
I HAVE SOO MANYYYYYYYYY, I am boy crazy right now, haha.

6. what is your current mood?
Tiiiired, worked all day.

8. what color shirt are you wearing
Umm, a grey and black striped shirt, and brown sweater.

9. are you feeling romantic or frisky?
Frisky! Definitely, haha, it's been established that I need to get laid.

10. if you could go back in time and change something, would you?
Not a thing.

11. where was the last place out of town, that you went to?
Errrrghhh, back home? Haha, I don't get out much.

12. ever had a near death experience?
Nope.

13. something you do a lot?
Woooooork. Spend money.

14. do you have a fondness for gnomes?
Not really.

15. who can/do you tell anything to?
Bradford, haha.

16. name someone with the same birthday as you?
Dana! Marie-Claude! Some dude that my friend Belinda dated for a while!

17. when was the last time you cried?
Uhhh, last week, when I was packing, because seriously fuck those guys.

18. where you right now?
In my room at Gowanhouse.

19. if you could have one super power what would it be?
GODDAMN LASER EYES.

20. what’s the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
Usually hair, or style.

21. who is your favorite celebrity train wreck?
Amy Winehouse!

22. what is a saying that you believe?
Say what you mean, mean what you say, and always finish what you start.

23. favorite color(S)?
Every one!

24. what is one thing that annoys you on tv?
The fact that I only get kind of blurry CTV right now, haha.

25. do you still like kiddy movies?
Definitely.

26. what are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Ehh, water, I'm going to get a pitcher with some guy from work later on.

27. do you speak any other language?
Nah.

28. what’s your favorite smell?
Oh, parsley! It brings back memories.

29. describe your life in one word?
Hectic! currently, haha.

30. have any tattoos?
Yes, and planning more.

31. what are you looking forward to the most?
Getting all of my stuff from Moldhouse. I am so ready for this breakup to be FINISHEDDDDDD.

32. what are you thinking about right now?
Pooping.

33. what should you be doing?
Pooping.

34. who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
My old asshole room mates last night, when my boss was nice enough to help me get my clothes from Moldhouse, and they were total children about the whole thing. It was horribly embarassing!

35. what are you listening to?
Dr. Phil!

36. do you like working in the yard?
I burn too easily, haha.

37. what color are your nails?
They're painted clear right now.

38. do you act differently around the person you like?
Haha, nah, if they don't like you for who you are, then they don't deserve you.

39. what is your natural hair color?
Red!

40. why did you cry the last time you did?
Because I was homeless and I didn't know what the fuck.

"I have been cursed with interesting times."

I am using this just for quizzes apparently.

( Stole this from Kassie )

I have material for a quote unquote "real" entry.

I just need the time to write it up. Probably after I hang out with Janine today.

Apparently I don't qualify for the thing at UofT. There was a clause that I skipped over that basically said "Everyone in the world hates you, Darby Blake, and you will never succeed no matter how hard you try."

Yup. So.

Also I've decided never to buy a laptop ever again.

I can't believe I just remembered this.

I'm writing up a journal entry about my childhood (which is something that I haven't really shared with anybody, I've just realized... so you assholes are lucky), and I just had a random memory that really didn't fit anywhere in my entry, so I'm going to put it here.

For years I lived in Port Ryerse, on the hill. I lived next to my grandparents who, for years, lived on a farm that boarded horses.

Now, listen, when I was really young (probably 5 or 6) my Grandpa had a horse named Ripper who was this big, dark, handsome horse (he is big in my memory, but that may be because I was so small then) that always had too much energy. During the winter, he would hook Ripper up to a horse-drawn sleigh and take myself, my brother, and two of my cousins for rides through the fields.

Oh yes folks. I have been dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.

I'm getting a little teared up right now, and I have no idea why. I never felt emotionally attached to that horse, and my grandfather is still very alive. Maybe I just miss that feeling of total happiness through innocence. Maybe I just miss my childhood altogether, when everything seemed so much simpler.

Oh well, boo hoo. I guess we all have to grow up sometime.

I am applying for the Academic Bridging Program at University of Toronto.

They don't do much to help Mature Students, but if I apply soon, I may just get in.

I'll be doing one class for two semesters, and then my application for a full time degree program will be based on my performance in that single class.

So, welp, here goes!

The apartment to myself.
A pot of chai tea.
Fresh baked cookies.
All The Pretty Horses.
Soft music.
and Pajamas.

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Nope.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
Um, actually this one, haha, almost 6 months now.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Ummm, I don't remember, haha

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
I have stories about my old cell phone.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Sooo long ago!

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
I spent a LOT of money on clothes this summer, but lately I spend it all on food and rent.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Umm, I think some of those lifestyles cookies that Andrew's mom got me addicted to.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes, mouth, general face shape.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Muddy Hymnal, Iron & Wine

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Totototoronto!

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Ugh, where DIDN'T I go?

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Telus. HATE HATE STAB STAB.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Stitches! Because they have nice clothes but are still super cheap.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
PAL Insurance.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
I do!

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
Nope.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Oh, jeez, a distant aunt, I can't remember her name now. It was in Virginia.

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Andrew.

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
He's sitting next to me.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
MMM McDonald's. I'm going to get some today, I think.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
"I'm just going out for some Fast Eddie's" *does not return for 3 days* hahahaaaa, Alex.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
I dunno about eating but Brass Taps is our favourite pub.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
HARDLY, Andrew is trying to teach me, haha.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
I don't!

26. BEST KISSER:
Andrewwwwwwwww.

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Yesterday my room mate was being a total prick and yelled at me for stupid shit so I got a little upset.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Fish.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I'm very comfortable with myself.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
Haha, actually Andrew pretty much pinpointed my problem. I'm fine when it's just me and him but when I go out in public, I'm a total trainwreck- nothing ever works for me!

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
Ugh, between PAL and Coles this summer I worked a lot of 12 hour days.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Haha, I have tonssss! But one that I will watch over and over is O Brother Where Art Thou?

34. CAN YOU SING?
Noooooo.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Ugh, I don't even remember... but Iron & Wine in November!!!

36. LAST KISS?
Yesterday. Andrew is sick right now and I don't want to get his germs.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
Haha we don't have money for that.

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
My wallet.

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT:
I would go back to Greece in a heartbeat.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Once you go lap you never go back.

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
Mitch Hedberg.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
No.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Pajama pants and a tank top, usually.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
Andrew!

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
They do not work for me.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Nevarrrrr!

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Mmmm French Toast.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Sometimes.

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Over Easy

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
Sometimes it makes sense, but not always

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
I called Jeff on Saturday and he was like "DOOD COME OVER" so I went over and he fed me wine and I watched him play spore.

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?
Haha probably the NDP office going after Andrew

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
I think Jon Grime.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
2

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
some shorts and a tank top. Pajamas!

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
Billy broke in and saw the blood on the floor, and
He turned around and put the lock on the door
He looked dead into the boyfriend's eye
His mother was a ghost, too upset to cry, then
He took a step toward the man on the ground
From his mouth trickled out a little audible sound
He heard the boyfriend shout, "Get out!"
And Billy said, "Not till I know what this is all about"
"Well, this preacher here was attacking your mama"
But Billy knew just who was starting the drama
So Billy took dead aim at his face
And smashed the bottle on the man who left his dad in disgrace, and
The white milk dripped down with the blood, and the
Boyfriend fell down dead for good
Right next to the preacher who was gasping for air
And Billy shouted, "Daddy, why'd you have to come back here?"
His mama reached behind the sugar and honey, and
Pulled out an envelope filled with money
"Your daddy gave us this," she collapsed in tears
"He's been paying all the bills for years"
"Mama, let's put this body underneath the trees
and put Daddy in the truck and head to Tennessee"
Just then, his little brother came in
Holding the milk man's hat and a bottle of gin singing...

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
srtawberry

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?
Haha hardly.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
Technically, yes, but it is not graceful.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Ben & Jerry's Half Baked

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
I have a well worn Toronto map in my purse. It saves my ass when I get lost (which is easily)

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I love Canadian writing?

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yes

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON:
Fall and winter. Although I love in the summer when it's hot and you can hear the cicadas.

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Probably recently.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING?:
Um, about 10, but I stayed in bed until like 11:30

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Oh god, when it's snowing outside and the light is all blue but you're inside and the light is all yellow and you have something warm to drink and great music to listen to. That's what I love about winter.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Never

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Umm, I think it was Jake, our jack russel terrior.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?
Ehhh, they've gotten overrated in the past few years.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEK?
Welp, searching for apartments, probably applying for a few more jobs, getting a hold of Marie and Tara...

78. BIRTHDATE:
June 15, 1988

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?:
Hahaha if you find out, be sure to tell me.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yes.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
I am now, haha

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:
My puppy Rosie. :(

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?:
London, to grab Tomas, and then we'd high-tail it all over the place.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
No.

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
I'm dating himmmm ~<3

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Um.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
White with little colourful images all over it.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Nope.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
No.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
Yes.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?:
No.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
No, first floor.

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Totally absolutely completely.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?:
Not for a long time.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?:
He's next to me!

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
0

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?:
Shower and go apartment hunting.

BAM.

so I moved in today!

I love my apartment. I'm just waiting for my camera batteries to recharge so I can take pictures.

All of my stuff fit, amazingly. Andrew was afraid that it would not.

I have a lot of clothing, I discovered. Especially a lot of pants. I never realized before how many pairs of pants I have. Holy shit.

Anyway, Andrew is making me kraft dinner. :) I must go eat!